Black Pearls for Parents- Affirming and Believing in Our Children

Earlier today I decided to work on packing up my old childhood books that have been on my moms' bookshelf for over 10 years. Most of these books are classics, favorites, or of sentimental value. I could never part with them. Of course there is the obscure text book like Microbiology or Organic Chemistry that still makes me shudder. I'd like to burn those on site, but I think I will keep them around to remind myself how hard I worked in college and that if necessary I could still pull them out, and get nerdy if need be. Getting nerdy is a dying skill, getting "geeked out" is somehow popular and they are oddly different. Anyway, I digress. I found amongst the books, lightly coated in dust, a small black soft cover, the pages are slowly beginning to yellow.

My mom read this book a lot when I was a child, technically it isn't mine, but seeing as she received it with me in mind I don't think she will mind if I keep it.

This book is called Black Pearls for Parents: Meditations, Affirmations, and Inspirations for African-American Parents by Eric Coopage

My mother wrote a simple inscription in this book: my name, the year and the place at which she won the book. She has always been a contemplative and purposeful person my mother, so seeing the inscription was no surprise. However opening the book this time, after all these years, 17 years to be exact, I felt a unique sense of purpose. Now as a parent, a mother to an African American boy I understand the importance of the book and its deeper meaning. I know she didn't intentionally plan or intend on me finding this book, and yet I feel grateful that we have kept it all these years.

Black Pearls for Parents is a simple easy read, inspiring, and encouraging book. I believe all parents would gain insight and encouragement from reading it but it is particularly important that its intended audience recognizes its power. This book was published in 1995. In the introduction the author refers to the state of Black America as in "crisis". What foresight he had to understand the need for such a book. Better yet what wisdom he had that he passed these words to my mother, all others who have read it and in turn to me.

I will share with you an excerpt -the meditation dated for today-November 9th- and I urge you to go out and read the remainder of the book for yourself.

Think back for a second on those moments when your parents encouraged you, when your mom affirmed your abilities and encouraged your potential. When your dad believed in you, not because you had any special powers or abilities, but simply because you were his child. Those affirmations are what our children, our African American children especially need in this age- an age of crisis.
If you did not have that affirmation, that support, and undying love by a parent, then this may be a hard concept to visualize. It may even make you angry or bitter. However it is not for us to judge our parents, simply to do better, to be better than them. Therefore at least commit to giving encouragement and speaking positivity into a child in your life because they deserve it and need it. NO excuses, if you don't know how, then hey, go buy this damn book,that's the point of why I'm telling you about it.

Excerpt:

" Parental Jealousy

My father had always been a symbol of strength and ability to me. I measured my own talent by his. But one day you grow up and you surpass your father.- Willie Mays

An interesting experience for a parent-to see our child showing a talent that surpasses our own, whether on the baseball diamond, at the piano, or in the classroom. Yet, no matter our children's age or advanced level of proficiency, let's keep in mind that he or she still very much needs our approbation and support. If we feel a bit jealous of our child's combined youth and talent, we must be extra careful to hold back comments that perhaps unconsciously aim to "take them down a notch." As loving parents, let us exult over our child's gifts, and find it in our heart to encourage him to rise to his full potential.

On this day, I will compliment my child on at least one thing he has done.

November 9 "

Copage, Eric. Black Pearls for Parents: Meditations, Affirmations, and Inspirations for African-American Parents. New York: William Morrow and Company, Inc., 1995. Print.

I wouldn't be where I am without the love of my mother, I will not let the opportunity pass to give my son that same love.